1-Step Process For Getting What You Want
I see so many business owners who are struggling and striving. I can easily pick them out because I used to be one of them.
When I opened my first business, a fitness studio, I was stressed ALL THE TIME about my business, how to grow it, who to hire, how to manage the people who worked for me, what clients were saying, what to spend money on, how to fix things that were broken or not broken, what my competition was doing, and plenty of other stressors on top of all of that.
I was doing all of this stressing because I had not taken the time to find clarity regarding what I really wanted and what it would look like when I was “successful”. I had not defined my own version of “success”, so I was completely oblivious when I had actually achieved anything. I thought, “I will know it when I get there, but until then I have to keep pushing”. The sad truth is I was pushing and pushing to get where I already was.
What I should have done (and what I help my clients do) was find clarity.
Finding clarity doesn’t mean having a completely fleshed out and formal action plan to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Clarity is having a clear definition of what you want to achieve and how you want to feel in the short and long term that is tied to your true and personal goals.
I wanted to feel like my community was growing, the services my team members were providing were top notch, my communication was clear and on brand both internally and externally, and the numbers on the sales sheet were growing every month.
It sounds simple, but if I had written this down, I could have referred to it when I started to feel overwhelmed. I could have looked at this list and said, check, check, check, and check, taken a deep breath and kept going.
Clarity vs. Closing Off
There were two reasons I was afraid to get really really clear.
One was my misguided thought that if I write down these goals, I need to know exactly how to make them happen. That is simply not the case. That would be what I consider “Closed Off” from opportunities and ideas that may present themselves to make these things (or other possibly even more exciting ones) come to fruition.
You do not have to have a specific and action oriented plan for each item on your list at the start of your journey, in order to feel confident that what you want will happen. If you keep your energy focused towards the things you truly desire, they will happen in the time they are supposed to happen.
The second reason I didn’t want to get really clear was my fear of failure. The script running in my head says, “If I write down what I want and then I don’t make it happen, I failed.” This is a silly fear (that I still struggle with, I am human after all). If I want a piece of chocolate cake, I am going to say it, “I want chocolate cake!” If I don’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I failed. It simply means I wasn’t meant to have cake today. If I don’t say that I want cake, there is a much better chance that I won’t get any, because no one knows about my love of chocolate cake (from Shyndigz in case anyone is wondering).
We have no idea what the universe has in store for us (sorry I have to get a little woo woo here), but that doesn’t mean we cannot have a specific version of what success looks and feels like in our mind to keep us going when things get stressful.
I have no intention of sitting back and waiting for things to happen to me, but I have to trust that things will work out how they are supposed to and me stressing will not change that. Stress and struggle won’t make things happen more quickly, and won’t bring me what I truly need or desire if I don’t truly need (or want) it.
I don’t have to know HOW chocolate cake will make its way to me. I just have to trust that the cake and me will meet one day and when that happens, I will know I am truly successful.
Your turn to take action: What does success look like to you? Start small. Start with your weekend. What will it look like to have a truly successful weekend? Write it down.